Jew.com

In an attempt to date with a modicum of dignity, I seek the wisdom of a well meaning, well loved Yenta who has been happily married for 34 years. That in itself seems to be an amazing feat to me. How in the world do you wake up next to the same person for 34 years and not suffocate them with a sweat sock? I find it difficult to commit to my cell phone carrier for more than one year at a time and these people have resigned their contract 34 times, wow!

I am rendered speechless by her profound wisdom which assures me that my "single-dom" is because I have not fished within my own tribe. I don't want to disappoint her by telling her there is no tribe of Puerto Rican Jews, located anywhere in the continental US........so I gracefully give in and troll Jew.com, with my gay partner in crime who I also employ as my administrative assistant and giggle like wicked school girls.

I was new to the online dating dawn and the only computer skill I poses is checking my email and playing scrabble online while balancing a glass of shiraz in my lap. Now I've learned that with a few clicks of a button...there are Jewish men from all parts of the country just waiting to meet a beautiful woman like me, or so I thought!

Our morning ritual was coffee, review our daily agenda and troll! We had criteria divided by looks, income and profession....ah, the days were filled with laughter, hope and endless nasty little comments on the poor souls looking for love on the Internet. You can stop laughing at this point because I now understand I was among the many, the pride less, the single seeking love.

It took quite sometime for me to comprehend pictures could be VERY old, birth dates changed, incomes propped up, divorce numbers deleted, height added to, weight subtracted from, hair plugs hidden along with expanding bellies and misplaced respect for honesty. The internet had become a place where any person can become anything; and I was a virgin. (okay, so to speak!)

Bring on Jew #1

RT